Preparing for life

Last night I was up until 3 am. But I wasn't studying. I wasn't writing. I was talking to my roommates. I know it sounds like a waste of time considering it's almost finals and I have so many things to do, but as I sat there in the army green papasan chair in my living room lit by Christmas lights I thought to myself, "no this is what's most important." When you think about it, do you ever wonder what's the point? Like what's the point of writing an 18 page research paper that no one will ever read besides your teacher and maybe your parents if you force them to. Or what's the point of working so hard to have it all only culminate in a little number and some letters on your transcripts? Perhaps this is just my frustrated, stressed finals week brain talking but do you ever feel like sometimes  in college , life is just simply happening to you and you're not really doing any living at all?  How do we possibly make meaning out of the monotony of redundant assignments and essays and endlessly busy busy-work? It's difficult to feel like you're living life when really you're just working to prepare for life, you know? We ask ourselves what we're gonna do with our life, but it's not like life is simply something that's far off in the future. Life is happening right now, but what are we doing with it?

Allergies

I'm assuming pretty much everyone is suffering from spring allergies right now. Runny nose, itchy eyes, sore throat etc. My thing is asthma, I get symptoms of it every year at this time when it starts getting really windy.

Allergies are funny when you think about how you never expect them to show up again in your life, but they always do and you're like, "Damn, I should have expected that."

After many, many rough springs in Arizona, I think I should finally start getting allergy shots in the summertime.

Writing a book with no time!

Hey guys, I'm not sure if anyone else has this problem but I feel like I hardly have time to write. I saw this and thought it offered great advise and it was fun to watch. So enjoy!

The Final Semester

 I currently only have a few weeks left of college and it is finally hitting me. I have been fortunate enough to have a final semester with diverse classes that I was able to take which interested me greatly. I had the opportunity to take an English class (something I had wanted to do since Freshman year), I took criminology, did research, and took a challenging Biomechanics course. Although  I feel I immersed myself in too many outside activities due to fearing that I would regret not doing so, I am glad that I did.
  I am studying for my last and most difficult final tonight. Although it is typically a miserable experience to have anxiety over such a trying exam, I am going to embrace the last time I will be up all night in a library sipping coffee with index cards and textbooks sprawled out everywhere. I have also always enjoyed being in the library because it makes me feel as if I am not alone when it comes to feeling stressed and nervous during this time of year.
  I am sure my willingness to embrace such a brutal experience in college might seem odd, but I have spoken to other Seniors who are also beginning to appreciate the unique experience of putting everything you have into comprehending difficult information and preparing for something seemingly impossible.
  I am very thankful for being fortunate enough to receive an education at such an amazing institution with so many opportunities. I am one of the only Seniors in this class, but all I can say is towards the end of your college career you will appreciate every little moment in college, no matter how much you might despise it at the time.

What I Learned This Year

As my freshman year of college comes to a close, I can't help but wonder about the things that changed me or that I have come to realize through the course of the year.  I realized that I don't like writing as much as I like analyzing.  What I really enjoy is picking stories and books apart and talking about themes and structure and how they're employed and why they're employed.  Also, I realized exactly how hard writing is.  I realized that I really am an introvert at heart.  Throughout high school, I always questioned that part about me, cause I was never sure if it was a phase or who I really was.  Also, I was never sure what being an introvert meant exactly.  Here, I realized that I naturally prefer spending time alone, as if being alone is something that I need to function properly.  I realized that I don't like chemistry and that there are a lot more jobs out there than I had previously thought.  I realized that forcing any friendship is highly pointless and that, a lot of times, people drift apart because of a lack of proximity.  I realized that the world is really a lot bigger than I had previously thought, and a lot less structured.  I realized that there are ways of doing exactly what you want and not being completely ready to do them is okay too.  College is great because, not only am I discovering a lot of things about myself and other people, but I'm also learning to accept the things the way they are.  For me, control has always been a hard thing to give up, but I think I'm starting to try.

Traveling soon

We're one week from being free from the chains
Of brain bondage, forced financial frugality
And stymied progress.

Traveling far but not too far,
Far enough but too far enough
Deep in the heart of Texas,
While my heart remains in Arizona.

Traveling soon, bags packed
Efficiently as they always are,
A spartan of the open road travels,
And a TSA-tried-and-true warrior.

Traveling soon, but the emotional baggage
Well, it's a bit heavy. It'll cost extra for this
Stay. It is worth it tho,
Anything and everything is worth
Finding that one person you want to travel the world with.

But for now I travel alone,
For now there is a year that separates
Two from being one.
One year truly still separatesus
From breaking brain bondage, forced financial frugality
And stymied progress.

Anything and everything is worth it.
For what is a traveler without his companion?

Future Story Idea

So for the past few weeks, I've been bouncing back in forth in my head this idea I have for a story. I've always wanted to write something that dealt with historical fiction, and my idea comes from my fascination with the Civil War. I think because so much was at stake for our country at that point, that any kind of advantage for the Confederacy could have changed our nation in so many ways.

My story idea comes from this thought of what if the Confederacy was given some sort of advantage over the Union. Here, I would have Robert E. Lee meet some kind of stranger from Europe with a proposal to govern half of America if the Confederates won the Civil War. In return, the stranger would offer to supply Robert E. Lee with the fastest rifle of that time, something no one has ever seen or heard of. The name of his weapon would the Assault Rifle. A fully automatic rifle that could hold a 32 round clip as opposed to the one shot then reload musket of the time.

Would this advantage conquer the disadvantages the South faced with the lack of factories and smaller population? Would this faster weapon propel the Confederacy to victory? In no way am in favor for the Confederacy winning the Civil War, but I do find it interesting to think what would happen if a weapon or tactic from today was used back in the 1860's, how much of a difference would there be?

So let me know what you guys think, worth exploring or should it be one of those ideas best left in the old noggin?